It's That Time of Year Again--Resolutions!

There was an article in today's newspaper that caught my attention & gave me a little laugh. I thought I would share a bit of it and then include my thoughts:

Resolutions for mommies aren't always easy
By Erin Stewart Deseret News Published: Monday, Dec. 29, 2008 12:00 a.m. MST
...So this year, I've decided to be more realistic. I'm making a list of all the New Year's resolutions I'd love to make and keep as a mother, but know I never will...
So here are my 2009 Wish-I-Could-But-Come-On-I'm-Human Resolutions:
1. To be showered and dressed every single day by 10 a.m. Well, except if the baby is sick. Or I'm sick. Or it's snowing. Or I stayed up late the night before. Or it's a Friday. OK, let's say by 3 p.m. and the shower is optional.
2. To not toss my daughter, Nicole, like a hot potato to my husband when he walks through the door. This is something I promised my pregnant self I would never do because I know my husband works hard and he shouldn't have to come home and take over mommy duty. Well, it's 21 months later and if my husband isn't home within five minutes of his estimated time of arrival, you can bet I'm calling him in a panic. I thought I'd be different, but there's something about talking baby talk, listening to "Wheels on the Bus" for the 100th time, wiping baby slime off the VCR and saying "No, no, don't eye-gouge mommy" all day that makes me forget that my husband works, too. So sorry honey, you're up.
3. To always be calm and patient. Ha Ha Ha.
4. To not compare my child to other children. Oh, I acted like I didn't care when the 10-month old in my neighborhood started walking before Nicole did. I was devastated. I can never admit this to the other moms, of course, and my party line still is, "Oh, babies all develop at different times. It really means nothing."
Then I go home and put my daughter through training drills.
5. To not be enormously jealous when Nicole picks daddy over me.
Sure, I change her, feed her, bathe her, research her rashes, gave up a career, have stretch marks and devote my life to her. But daddy comes home, holds her upside down and lets her draw on herself with markers. I don't even have a chance. .. For the full article please visit http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,705273638,00.html.

Well, here's my spiel on New Year's resolutions: Rule # 1 Do not make them for the sake of New Year's. Rule # 2 (see rule # 1). Pretty simple.

Honestly, I've never been one to do resolutions (unless it was some dumb assignment given me in a class or something). Instead, if you know me well enough, you will know that I am one to constantly be in the process of resolving, repenting, recommitting, and revising myself--Change really is a process of being and becoming. We're all a great work in progress, so to speak.--New Year's resolutions then become some type of what-I-should-do-better-cram-session that will in almost no way be retained in the long run. So, do yourself a favor, skip the New Year's resolutions and go straight for the personal goals actually within your grasp--you will feel much better about yourself if you do.

What do you think?

Run Daniel. Run.

So, I'm sitting here somewhat numbed by today. Over all, it was a good day. Daniel had school. I made a few goodies. We went sledding as a family. I talked with a friend of mine for a while. I had a wonderful prime rib dinner. And then, life happened...and Daniel "ran away" while I was at a ward Christmas party.

It figures that the 5 other times I went to check where he was, he was inside. As I was about to leave, an older man came in and asked if anyone was missing a little boy about 4 years old. I immediately said, "that sounds like mine." To which I was instructed to go with him to his home where the police were. (I was quite frustrated with myself.)

Daniel is oblivious to any concern that I may be worried about where he is. He seemed quite happy to be looking at a beautiful Christmas tree and eating a candy cane. I simply said, "Hey, bud, did you go for an adventure?" and that was it. The police took my information and we went home. Who knows, I may be getting a call from a social worker sometime--I have been through this before when he was 2 (Usually I find him before police have to get involved).

So, that was my fun adventure for the evening. I am contemplating not going to social events in large spaces with my kids when my husband is not home to help me--it proves to be more than I can handle.

2008: A Year in Review

This year has been busy and wonderful. We are so greatly blessed in our lives, even amid many challenges and trials we face. We have truly appreciated this past year for all that we have come to know and understand, for our personal growth and faith in Jesus Christ, and especially for family members and friends who love, care for, pray, and support us in our daily lives.

In January Jason was working for Magleby Companies framing and a 2nd job as a server at Applebee’s. I was staying at home with the children and serving as the co-ward nursery leader over 5 nurseries, all while we lived in my parent’s basement (Jerry & Diann Ellis). President Gordon B. Hinckley died. And we had the usual illnesses acquainted with winter. I went to the temple several times over the course of the next few months. We also received some unexpected blessings, financially speaking.

In February Jason and I finally saw a dentist after 5 to 8 years of not seeing one. We were both in good health and I had only one cavity and had my crown replaced. Deborah, my mother-in-law, came out for a visit. We got rid of our cell phones. And I spent a lot of time with a dear friend of mine, Ashley.

March is usually a busy month around our home—Daniel turned 3 & Joseph 2. It was also the first time we took the kids to the zoo and they loved the zebras and the train. I sang with a friend at a musical fireside. We helped a friend move. We had Easter dinner with my parents. And then we moved out of my parent’s basement into our own apartment 2 miles away—Thanks Dad & Daniel for helping us move our things.

April was general conference. Jason was called to be the 2nd counselor in the Elder’s Quorum. I had fun at some Mary Kay clinics learning how to properly apply makeup.

May was Mother’s Day, which Jason always makes special for me. Jason broke his nose (it was a hairline fracture). And Jason quit his 2nd job at Applebee’s. I was called to be the ward Compassionate Service Leader.

June was Father’s Day. Daniel had his first speech and behavioral assessments and he qualified for the preschool program. We celebrated pioneer day. My sister Lori and her family came and visited with my parents. And we also hiked as a family up to some waterfalls in Pleasant Grove—after which the boys both had a horrible flu.

In July I went on a “hike” with my friend Mary and the kids to Bridal Veil Falls in Provo Canyon. I also finally was able to see the Emma Smith movie. Jason also started the process of applying to UVU (Utah Valley University). Jason also sustained an injury at work and required a few stitches on his right leg. The 4th of July was fun & we enjoyed many events.

In August we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. Deborah, Stephen, and Adam came out for a wonderful visit and kindly gave Jason & me a nice break with a day away. And amazingly we got some beautiful family pictures done. Daniel also started going to preschool.

September was a fun month. Jason turned 28 this year. I went to Time Out for Women (Like a LDS woman’s conference with lots of fun) with some wonderful friend’s of mine. And my sister Angela came out to visit in between job contracts in Iraq.

October had another General Conference. Also it was Halloween. Daniel was Spider Man and Joseph was a dinosaur. For our ward party I dressed up as a witch, and for Halloween night I was “a lady,” as Daniel put it. Daniel also started to call ghosts “Holy Ghost’s”—He would often run around with a sheet over his head and chase you while saying, “I be Holy Ghost.”

November was busy. I had my 25th birthday (Our auto insurance rates dropped). I also had a girl’s night in birthday party complete with great company, pajamas, the Emma Smith movie, and of course a chocolate dessert. I started teaching an Enrichment focus group about cooking. And we had an absolutely wonderful Thanksgiving at my Mom’s along with most of my family. Oh, and Jason quit his job as a framer and started working for SOS Staffing at US Synthetics making synthetic diamonds and tungsten carbide drill bits—We’re hoping he gets hired on full-time when his probation is up because the company really takes care of its employees.

December is not quite over yet. So far, we went on the “Polar Express” train ride to the North Pole (in Heber City, UT) & ate at Dairy Keen (they have everything trains in the restaurant & the boys loved it). We went and saw the lights & nativities at Temple Square. Daniel was officially diagnosed as having Asperger’s Syndrome—which explains he behavior. Jason was released from the Elder’s Quorum as 2nd counselor and was sustained as the Elder’s Quorum secretary in a new presidency. We finally got to play in the snow. Coming up is….Daniel’s first of a series of Doctor’s appointments, sledding, and Christmas here and at my Mom’s.

Challenges of an Aspie as an Adult--10min.

This is an informative video of the over all challenges that someone with Asperger's Syndrome faces as an adult and how they view the world. It runs about 1o minutes & it is from Ireland.

The Basics of Asperger's Syndrome

This is a basic overview of what asperger's syndrome is and a little bit of what that entails (4:30).

I am all about advocacy and sharing what I learn with others. This syndrome/disorder is really about understanding things from a different point of view and doing the best we can to teach coping skills (as well as learning them). A calm voice, love, and patience goes a long ways with an Aspie.

The Officially Unofficial Verdict on Daniel

So, we were given a Gilliam Asperger's Disorder Scale to fill out and Daniel is over all in the 75th percentile. Which means he has Asperger's--it's a type of Autism. Daniel most likely also has Sensory Processing Disorders which typically accompany autism and other similar disorders.

We are at the beginning of the learning process and will be getting medical referrals on the 13th of this month. We are glad to have a name for what Daniel suffers and struggles with, and also the cause of many of his strengths. We hope to continue special ed preschool & speech therapy, as well as specialized medical care, and occupational therapy.

I truly appreciate your love, friendship, prayers and support in our behalf and would be more than happy to attempt to answer any questions you may have. We are doing the best we can, for now; that is, until we know more and have more resources and tools to empower us in to empower Daniel. The great news is, Daniel is young and we love him and will do everything we possibly can to help him learn how to cope with his disorder.